Helping all children become happy learners
Lying
If I Lie
If I lie I am saying things that are not true.
Telling lies is usually not OK. But there are times when it can be OK. This can be confusing.
A lie is bad if I say it to:
hide something I have done wrong
blame someone else
to upset someone
A lie might be OK if I say it to:
not upset someone
not be rude
not tell tales
If I tell lots of bad lies people may be cross with me. I may also get into trouble.
Telling bad lies is never OK. Telling a lie for good reasons can be OK. If I'm not sure I can talk to an adult about it.
Lying
Lying is not telling the truth.
Lying is saying things that are not true. We might lie to stop ourselves getting into trouble. This is not OK. We might lie so that we don't hurt someone's feelings. This can be OK and these lies are sometimes called 'white lies'.
Knowing when it is OK to lie and when it is not can be confusing. There are some rules that can help.
It is usually not OK to lie to:
hide something I have done wrong
blame someone else
to upset someone
It is usually OK to lie to:
not upset someone
not be rude
not tell tales
Telling lies is usually not OK. Sometimes it is OK to tell a small lie to be kind or polite.
Lying 2
Lying is saying something that you know to be untrue.
There are lots of reasons why people tell lies. Some of these are for good reasons and are usually OK and some are for bad reasons and are never OK.
It is sometimes OK to lie to protect the feelings of others. For example, we might say 'I like your new coat' to a friend even when we don't really. These lies are sometimes called 'white lies'.
It is sometimes OK to lie to trick someone as a joke. It is only OK if the person that you say the lie to enjoys the joke. If they get upset then it is probably a lie that is not OK.
Sometimes people lie because they have done something wrong and they try to hide it. It is never OK to lie to stop ourselves getting into trouble. It is also not OK to blame others or lie to hurt someone's feelings. If someone tells lies and people find out they may be angry with them and they will not trust them anymore.
It can be confusing knowing when it is OK to lie and when it is not. If unsure it is usually best to tell the truth. Telling too many lies or bad lies will mean that people might get angry with you and they will not trust you.
White Lies
White lies are lies that are said for good reasons.
Telling lies is usually a bad thing to do. But sometimes telling a lie can be a good thing to do. This is called telling a 'white' lie. These are lies that we tell to be kind and polite. It can be confusing knowing when it is OK to lie. There are some rules that can help.
It is telling a white lie when we say or do not say something so that we do not:
upset a person's feeling
appear rude and uncaring
make someone look stupid or silly
embarrass someone
Though telling white lies is OK it not good to tell too many. When we need to lie to be polite or kind it often best to say as little as possible. Try to keep within the conversation. For example, a friend asks you whether you like their new haircut. You don't like it but you say "It suits you, where did you get it cut?"
Telling a white lie is OK. If we are telling a lie to be kind and polite we are doing the right thing. But it is still good to avoid telling white lies unless we really need to.
Notes on creating your own personalised social story:
Use the above examples to create your own personalised social story for the child. If you need to modify the language to support younger children ensure that the exact meaning intended remains clear and unambiguous. You may want to add photographs or pictures to illustrate the meaning or provide motivation to use. Alternatively, print out versions of the social stories are available below.

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